Mrs. J:  Hello Mrs. Harris.

Mrs. H:  Hello, Mrs. Jones.

Mrs. J:  How are you, love?

Mrs. H:  Oh, I’m fine.  How are you?

Mrs. J:  I would have been fine if my husband hadn’t gotten ill yesterday.

Mrs. H:  Oh, I know! Husbands are so inconsiderate.

Mrs. J:  I called up the doctor to make an appointment for him, and what does the receptionist say?

Mrs. H:  She asks what’s he got.

Mrs. J:  She does! I say, “I don’t know!” so she puts me through to a nurse.  Nurse asks me what he’s got and again I say, “I don’t know!” so she puts me through to the doctor.  Doctor says, “Now, what’s this?  I hear you’ve got a sick husband. What’s the matter?”

Mrs. H:  Isn’t that always the way.  They expect us to do everything.

Mrs. J:  So I said to the doctor, “I haven’t a clue what’s the matter with my husband.  That’s why I’m calling to get him an appointment to see a doctor.”  The doctor just laughed and said, “I’m sorry madam, but I’m afraid we can’t take him without an advance diagnosis.  It’s far too inefficient and expensive to take patients if we don’t know what they’ve got.”

Mrs. H:  Oh, I know.  Same thing happened to my sister last week.  She was trying to get in with her baby and would they let her? Oh, no.  Had to know what the baby’s got first they said.  Can’t be letting sick people in here. They might be contagious.

Mrs. J:  Oh, I know.  So I said, “Well if you won’t take him, he’ll just die then.”  The doctor said, “That’s the sensible solution.  Much cheaper all around.  We don’t have to waste money on lengthy tests and you don’t have to pay us ridiculous amounts of money to not get any answers.”

Mrs. H:  Well, that’s doctors nowadays.  Used to be when you were sick, someone would come make you better regardless of the cost.  Not now though.  Oh no.  Unless someone’s making a pretty penny you can’t even breathe.

Mrs. J:  Oh, I know.  Well, love, I must run.  My husband’s decided he’s just going to die today rather than fuss with trying to find out what’s wrong.  It’ll be a pity if it was just a cold, though.  He could’ve gotten over that.

Mrs. H:  Why doesn’t he just wait a few days to make sure?

Mrs. J:  Oh, no.  He’s got his heart set on his funeral tomorrow.  He’s got his suit out and everything.  He said he’d wait for me to get home before he went off, though.

Mrs. H:  Well, have a nice time, dearie.  Do let me know how it turns out.

Mrs. J:  Will do, love.